By we I don't mean myself included. I don't expect a two year old to not get into the cookie jar, to not take candy that they find, or to not have temper tantrums. But, there is a segment of society that do expect extraordinary things from two year olds and will make them feel badly about not being able to perform to their expectations. Most the time they handle it without doing too much damage to the child and luckily it isn't the child's parents that is making them feel bad. But, a lot of times it is the parent and the attitude causes a lot of damage.
The same people have extraordinary expectations of people who are disabled. Most people with disabilities work I think mostly people with invisible disabilities, many with undiagnosed disabilities, and some with misunderstood disabilities those disabilities that aren't really disabilities just different abilities. I am not saying differently abled I don't like that term. Some disabilities definitely not a different ability and in fact are literally the lack of having an ability. I think wherever possible a person who has different abilities should have them strengthened and they should be worked with to their best ability. But, I think that the attitude has gone to far when people with different abilities are pushed to be more normal, to function in ways they aren't able, to rise to heroic levels on a daily basis. It is becoming all to common for disabilities to be ignored and for the disabled to be treated in a callous way. In my case people would harass me to my face about my skills being high in some areas, but very bad in others. One person constantly called me a savant, but not in a good way. Perhaps I am a confusing entity. None the less, I think that barring some bad behavior on my part I should have been treated more respectfully. I think that is true of anyone with a different kind of brain or that has a body that doesn't work the way people think is normal.
If it was only that I would say that we have a huge social problem. But, it goes beyond that. Poor people are demonized as being the ruin of society, the economy, morality, and many other things. I guess they haven't gotten the memo about how powerful they are as a group, because I know a lot of poor people that despite this great power try to hide how poor they are. With this much power poor people should all be in your face, I have the power to destroy life as we know know it, gimme money biatch. But, no for the most part that does not happen and poor people try as hard as they can to not be noticed, to fly under the radar, and to just get by. I have seen people be downright rude when they encounter a person they think is poor, it's even worse when it's a poor minority. Ironically some of these people that I have seen treated poorly aren't really that poor, they dress like the people that make tons of money rehabbing houses. In any case this is a problem of epic proportions. Continuing on this way is not going to get people out of poverty, in fact it can create more poor people. How?
Oh this one is easy. First we have seen the safety net shredded. Now it's the working poor who are under attack. There are not enough people who are pushing back, who demand a living wage for people who work full time and mostly in high stress jobs. They seem more intent on creating these low wage high stress jobs and then blaming people who work them for being to poor to live on those wages.
People who are abused is another group that it's popular to second guess. The you should haves are endless. Women who are raped should have fought harder, children who are abused should have told another adult or ran away, people who are stopped by the police for no reason should just show an ID, people who are sexually harassed shouldn't look like they invite it, you know look strong so the bastids don't go after you. There is more much more. But, the common thread in this is that the people who are victims have the onus put on them to not be victims, even if they are very young, I have seen example after horrifying example. I don't know what it will take to get society to change. Some progress has possibly been made. But, I find it hard to believe. When Adrian Peterson beat his son so many people conflated that with discipline. A scary number of people did. Perhaps some of them were "disciplined" in similar ways. I am sure at least one of them was because he told me. So even if abuse does not beget abuse it sure seems to beget apathy and a lack of concern for victims of abuse.
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