Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Hug a hippie today

   Then beg them to teach you their ways.  Because those dirty hippies were right.  Scientists have found that countries with a higher number of people who are compassionate have better environmental records in this study; "Nation's 'personality' influences its environmental stewardship..." http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/10/141023193608.htm. People who are compassionate and care about the environment also tend to have better mental and physical health. Of course there is not a 100% correlation, but when more people are compassionate and this statistic becomes significant then health benefits tend to rise.
    This doesn't mean you have to go out and hug everyone. But, the more you can incorporate kindness in your life the better off you will be. The "Pay it Forward" concept is a good model for this I believe. Small acts of kindness can grow into habitual kindness. The reward for habitual kindness is better health and possibly happier communities.
   I am one of those people who rarely give money to people who just ask. I probably will still not give out cash. But, there are other kinds of kindness. In my city there is an organization that assists homeless people, with shelter, food, and clothing, they also direct them to social services that can provide more comprehensive care. Many of the homeless are also in need of mental health services. But, lets say there is nothing like that where you live. Perhaps give them a dollar. But, just as important I believe perhaps more important treat them like human beings. I wish I had given each person who asked at least one dollar. I don't always have cash on me, but I can always stop a minute and talk and let them know they are still a part of humanity, that they are still seen and they have not become invisible. They need people to care.
   This is something I have started a while back, not far enough back, but a while back. That I would do something nice for other people I usually don't make it known. But, when they find out they are usually happy that I have made an effort. Having chronic fatigue limits me a bit, but being nice costs very little and it doesn't take a lot of energy. It costs nothing to breath first and snap back with harsh words later. I don't know how many arguments I have avoided doing this, but it is very rare these days for me to have words with people. That doesn't mean don't ever stand up for yourself, please do I wouldn't want to see a nation of doormats. But, what I have observed is this, the nicer I am the more effective it is when I stand up for myself. The person I have become assertive with stops for a bit and looks at my point of view with a bit more respect. One of my favorite bosses lived this concept a bit too well, we learned from each other. She learned assertiveness, I learned to temper my temper better on the job at least. We both ended up more effective on the job.
   In Liar Liar, Jim Carrey faced a dilemma his career practically depended on him being able to appear to be especially nice. But, he wasn't actually all that nice. He had to get along well with his co-workers, his boss, and his clients. He had to learn how to tell the truth, but in a way that wouldn't hurt people's feelings. I think he did it in an extreme way and ultimately a superficial way, but there is a lesson here. If you have to say something say something nice. If you feel compelled to tell the truth tell it in a neutral way, deflect from the question at hand if you must (although that seems a bit like lying to me). The question of "does this dress make me look fat" can be answer in different ways that can still be yes, but not in a mean way. Such as "I don't think that dress is you it's a bit too ____" Fill in the blank with whatever you think is most appropriate. For me it's a little to feminine works.
   If you want to make a bigger impact, there is no shortage of places that need volunteers. There is no shortage of charities that need donations. There is no shortage of people in politics that need people to help with their campaigns. There is no shortage of platforms to reach out and encourage people to find it in their hearts to do the right thing, If nothing else start a blog and spread a positive message no matter how small your audience is that one or eight people know other people and they know other people. Peace out.


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